I told myself that I would write tonight. Regardless of the outcome. So, here goes.
It was a long winter. An atypical winter as I made the choice to spend more time within as opposed to without. I made a choice for quiet. There were thoughts and things that needed to find their way and the only way was silence. So, for awhile, I indulged. It wasn’t easy.
Emotions suck. They can be fickle. They in the darkest of nights can show you most boldly yourself and it isn’t always the easiest path. Aka there aren’t always rainbows and butterflies. It’s just you. And the night. And your mind.
I think I learned a few things…I thought I might share.
1. There is patience in all things. Most importantly processes that you don’t have control of.
2. Being there for others will sometimes heal far more in you than being there for yourself.
3. Faith. Have faith. Believe that we are always exactly where we are supposed to be.
4. Sometimes, it’s ok to creep back into your past, sleep in the arms of a lover that makes you feel safe so that at least for a few hours you can have rest.
5. Believe in the people that you have surrounded yourself with - that they will get you through what you seemingly can’t.
6. Let go in love.
7. Breathe.
8. Be kind in the most random of moments with the most random of people….you never know the joy it might bring and you never know what soul might be in the body of a stranger.
9. Forgive those that don’t understand you.
10. Let go of your past. It is just that. Your past. Looking backwards is wasteful. Look only ahead. Take what you have learned…the rest…just stops along the road.
I don’t know. I think it is all much more simple than I’ve made it. For me, it’s been about letting go of that which I can’t control. To learn to just sort of ebb and flow throughout things. Be. To stop fighting time. It’s there. It passes.
I can’t control it. It shows in my smile, in my belly. Life. Let go of the incessant need to be something that I can no longer be.
I’m trying to find beauty in age and wisdom and not the flaws within that. Lines are memories, not affliction. Enough said.
Thanks for listening.
