I shake

The snow out of my hair.  I get up and change the song that spins.  

Every month leads me away.  Every moment of laughter I grow.  I'm tired.  I've been trying for a bit to believe that there is something greater.  There really isn't.  You fill the gaps.  That's what I do.  Fill the gaps.  But at the end of the day, it's all the same.  The memory of a life that wasn't.  Quiet reckoning. 

I remember laughter. 

I like to keep some things to my self.  Self.  My. 

I was pretty when he held my head in his hands and asked for me to not leave - no matter what.  It was simple then, when it was codependent.  Addicted to being.  Fuck. 

The most wretched story of all time.  Love.