Friday, May 29, 2009

Curtains

I dozed a little bit. I keep having these sequencial thoughts….more like little dreams. When I wake up they are this hazy fog but I know that they were there….

It’s this sort of balance of reality and REM. If that’s not a metaphor, then I don’t really know what is.

I’ve been trying to wrap my arms around the term closure lately. What it means…what it requires? Is it ever really possible? To close the ure? I presume we learn to let things go…release them from ourselves the best we can but moments are moments…they are branded inside of you. You can’t close what is inside of you. Right? You just maybe have to close the door to that room.

I used to use the phrase ‘Let go in Love’ a lot. To remind myself to release things lovingly. Most times, it’s a crock of shit. Most things I release I release because they hurt and I can’t keep them with me anymore…so there’s not much love there unless I just refer to reflect inward and presume I mean love of the self. Either way you put it…letting go usually sucks.

My mind exhausts me.

Sometimes we just have no choice – someone or something slams down the window…and its shut and you can’t get in and the only way out is through a new one. Sometimes it just feels like an eternity until that new window opens and you just stand still for a bit.

Sometimes I just need to dance.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

very insightful and thought provoking. it reminds me of a piece of advice i *try* to take i learned in yoga: if it is not serving you, let go of it. if it is not doing anything for you, but making your mind ramble on through the grooves and ruts that are there, release it. ask yourself what purpose it is serving you to keep attaching thoughts and feelings and judgments to this thing.

(woah, deep thoughts...for a friday)

and yes, dancing or other physical movement or picturing movement of "letting go" helps this process i think!
- bb

Tarah said...

So amazingly right on...thanks for that...xo