Preface

Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof.
Khalil Gibran

 

It’s strange when life happens whilst you’re busy preparing for something else.  When you find yourself in a moment that days or even minutes before you couldn’t have predicted.  It’s the universe.  She has her way when she’s ready.  

I found myself in a moment recently, a quiet intertwinement - and I realized for the first time in what has seemed like decades, I was actually fully, wholeheartedly and completely present.  I wasn’t making comparisons.  I wasn’t staring into my rearview mirror grappling with skeletons.  I was free.  Melting into liberation and a feeling that I have long believed I would never again experience.  

An attribution could be placed on the Shaman that I met with last week.  Her work to rid my spirit of energy that has sort of flown around and buried me in ways.  Or, the decision as of late to take affirmative steps towards living the way I feel, not just speaking about it anymore.  It could be attributed to a gaunt Brit who approached me in the Tate two weeks ago to remind me that I could start my life over, at any point and that as difficult as it’s been, it can still be beautiful again.  It could be attributed to many ironic idiosyncrasies that have been following me around and buzzing about since I made the decision last spring to find a life worth living again.

Regardless, it’s created a lightness of being in me.  That moment and the moments thereafter. This little ridiculous sparkle of hope.  Belief again in beautiful bits.  And that the things I write about…my past; is just that.  Over.  Done.  Pieces of the story, but not the entire book.  They are just chapters and I can rewrite my ending to be anything that I need it to be.  I was bound for quite some time in moments that had long since passed and no longer suited who I have been becoming.  It’s such an amazing and cathartic fucking relief when you can just let it go.  All of it.  Appreciate it, them and time for what it gave you, how it made you, but then leave it there…where it should stay so that you can turn around to see something else.  When you open yourself up to the Universe, when you allow for guidance, it will come and it will bring you exactly what you need, when you need it.  It’s about having a little Faith.

And that’s it really.  I felt compelled to share because we all need to hear about good bits now and then.  And perhaps a reminder that if you open yourself up to see what’s around you, beside you and in front of you, and not what’s behind you – there is hope, and butterflies and quiet peace waiting.  

Thanks for listening.