Age is irrelevant my ass.
I hate when people say that cliché shit. You’re only as old as you feel and what not and not. Here’s the thing. I feel 23 on most days and mentally definitely feel more comfortable vibing there but I’m not 23. I’m 37. I have a god damned frow brow crease thingy for Christ’s sake. It’s legit. So….yah, I’m getting old and regardless of what I tell myself, it’s the evitable.
Can I hang with the cool kids, talk pop culture, crack witty jokes, tweet my ass off….sure – but here’s the difference between 23 year old Tarah and 37 year old Tarah. 1. I see absolutely no reason to stay up past midnight unless I’m having a deliriously fun time. Nothing good ever happens after midnight (well some things….). Trust me. 2. I have a mortgage. Nuff said there. 3. I no longer look 23 when I wake up. It takes hours of adjustment to light for my eyes to remotely make a formation that resembles someone that is awake. 4. You can’t bounce a dime off my ass anymore and my tits are like a National Geographic cover – and both those things alone in my 20’s got me VERY far. 5. I have a deep propensity for not reacting. Reacting to everything in your 20’s creates most of the fun. Hence, my life isn’t nearly as entertaining. 6. If I eat more than a salad I have to run 4 extra miles at the gym and do 80 Zumba classes to burn it off (so I haven’t actually done a Zumba class but I hear it works). In my 20’s, I drank about 8 cans of Coke a day alongside fried salami and cheese sandwiches weighing a solid buck 10. 7. You couldn’t pay me a million dollars to ever do a hallucinogenic again. I’m far too smart. I won’t elaborate on what I did in my 20’s. 8. Things hurt far more in your 30’s because you’ve lived through a lot and life and lives become more and more important. 9. In my 30’s I have to give a shit what people think of me. For my godchildren, for my career. In my 20’s….I didn’t. Whether I should have or not, it was liberating. 10. Finally, I live my life as if there’s still a chance that I will have all of the things that I wanted: aka a child….and there’s a really good chance I won’t but that’s what happens when you think you’re still 23 and the world is your oyster – closing doors for opportunities perhaps you should’ve thought about for a few more seconds before closing.
So, what are the good bits about being older? Well, there’s a hefty ration of things that suck but a few things that make it all worthwhile are: 1. Calm and Forgiveness. A lot more calm and forgiveness. 2. Being able to afford a mortgage. 3. Being ok with going to bed before midnight and resting securely that you’re not missing a fucking thing. 4. Having ‘been there’ and giving advice with absolute confidence. 5. Having National Geographic tits that make for lovely late night fodder as you and your lover try to slap each other across the face with them. 6. Selflessness. I don’t care what you say, you know nothing of this until your 30’s and serious shit starts to go down and except for rarities, nothing serious happens in your 20’s. 7. Blowing off the gym because you’re totally cool with enjoying life instead recognizing that laughter and love creates a far greater high. 8. Those rare moments when someone tells you that you’re beautiful because you’d almost forgotten. And, for a moment, you feel like you’re 23 again. 9. Crying once and moving on. Not crying for days. 10. That if I decide to have a child, I have a million options – most of which don’t include a white picket fence and a tuxedo but I’ll kick ass with nonetheless.
I wouldn’t change my 30-something-year-old mind for my 20’s but at times I wish I could go back with all the knowledge I have now. I would’ve made for one stellar soul to contend with. Now, well now I just waffle between time and space, telling myself that it’s all ok. I am, after all, still that girl. Regardless of the shell that now covets her.
And there you have the ramblings of my mind this evening.
Thanks for listening.
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